The Name's Diddy, P. Diddy
The Name's Diddy, P. Diddy

They say if you're going to criticize someone, you should say one nice thing about them first. I like that P. Diddy decided to promote his new men's fragrance, I Am King, with a straight-to-YouTube production/tryout for James Bond*. There. Now on to what I really think. Hammer time:

More Fun With Spontaneous Perspiration
More Fun With Spontaneous Perspiration

Earlier this week we wrote about Axe's Canadairman, a man so special that he puts out forest fires with his underarm perspiration. Impressive. But I think he needs to meet his match, Mattoni Spring Water's water dress girl:

A Few Things You Should Be Aware of....
A Few Things You Should Be Aware of....

New York magazine put out yet another "best ads" list. This one has something specific about Mad Ave selling the ads or some nonsense. Mildly entertaining. Check it.

Here's a great idea that probably won't make it off the ground because of the liberal media elite and their terrorist cronies.

And, after the jump, an ad that made a big splash across the pond. Why? I am an antichrist.

Is Free, Clean Transportation a Plausible Reality? Absolut-ly
Is Free, Clean Transportation a Plausible Reality? Absolut-ly

Absolut Vodka's last post-advertising efforts were, more than anything, not funny, which I guess is not a crime. (Clearly, however, funny was the intent.) Absolut's latest is a bit better—a ridiculous yet convincing world-saving transportation initiative proposed and marketed by a quirky Swede. Roll tape:

More From the Department of Ads to Get Pissed About
More From the Department of Ads to Get Pissed About

As we discussed last week, the BMs have figured out ways to appeal to brainland America without offending heartland America too much. But the BMs need to learn to keep the snooty, in-the-dark creative directors' mouths shut. See the spot that's setting hearts aflutter below and read the outraged blathering of said spot's CD here.

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No Union Between Credit and Change
No Union Between Credit and Change

We usually see Apollo Creed—I mean Carl Weathers—musing on boxing and other such manly things in the Rocky movies, so I’m a little thrown to see him in his newest role: a polo-wearing, bicycle/flower-cart hybrid-driving Gandhi-type offering his "inspirational musings" to the world. "Change is beautiful," he announces—a statement often preceded by, "You are beautiful." Change can be a bit baffling, too.

Moving away from Weathers for a second, the other silent, constipated-looking characters seem more confused than enlightened. Well, I’m confused too. What is this for? What is changing? Is it like Rocky IV (the one where Apollo Creed dies, btw), when Rocky Balboa single-handedly changes the minds of millions, thus uniting Russia and the United States? Because that was beautiful. Or is it more like the change that President Obama is promising? (Wait, can I say that yet?)

Absolut Kanye
Absolut Kanye

I spent the last four years on the South Side of Chicago, so I'm familiar with Kanye West's super-coolness. He released his debut album, College Dropout, in February 2004—four months after I arrived in the city known for blues and shady politics. Songs like "Jesus Walks" and "Through the Wire" blew up first in his hometown, then everywhere else. Even my mom bought the album: Kanye West is her new Mick Jagger, the man every woman wants and every man wants to be.

Speaking of being Kanye:

You Are Your Face
You Are Your Face

But what if you have no face? If that's the case, then you need something really awesome to jazz up your personality. No sense in getting out there and developing a personality, doing some reading, some interacting—you know, human stuff. Just buy a car and be that car. And what kind of car do you get if you are in the direst need of a personality revamp, i.e., if you have no face? A Lotus—that quirky, insect-like British sports car, of course. That, or a Saab, I guess.

Holy Pepperoni Pizza, Batman!
Holy Pepperoni Pizza, Batman!

Not only is Domino's the official pizza of The Dark Knight (or something like that), but you can also make a Batman costume out of the box in which the Gotham City Pizza comes! I'm all for utility and dual use, especially when it comes to packaging, but the aspiring superhero who wears a greasy pizza box on his back leaves him or herself vulnerable to one of the greatest teen supervillains of all time: Back Acne Man!

Dial-Tone Rock
Dial-Tone Rock

Which sounds real to you?

"Hey dude, I just came back from seeing The Vandals play at the 2008 Vans Warped Tour sponsored by AT&T! It totally rocked! Yeah!" (Does that rock-n-roll, surfer-hand-signal, tongue-sticking-out thing.)

"Hey dude, I just came back from seeing The Vandals play, and I got so drunk that I lost my shoe! Yeah!" (Vomits on remaining shoe.)

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Freeze! You're About to Be Pooper Scooped
Freeze! You're About to Be Pooper Scooped

Curiosity is the only possible reason I can imagine for a pet owner to buy the as-seen-on-TV Poop Freeze: Just Frost and Toss! You probably have a lot of questions. Me, too. For instance, how powerful is this little can of whatever? Does it freeze the poop all the way through? Could you cut into a still-warm poop center? Does it freeze other things besides poop, or is there something in the special freezing agent that reacts with poop and poop only? In fact, I know surprisingly little about this life-changing product even after consenting to sit through a two-minute, informative ad. This is a perfect example of advertising-age solutions for space-age pooper-scooper technology. You best put on a diaper after the jump. Via.

The Difference Between 'Storytelling' and 'Telling Stories'
The Difference Between 'Storytelling' and 'Telling Stories'

Let’s talk about LG’s commercial for its new Scarlet TV series. Yeah, I know this campaign has been annoying TV viewers for over a month or two already, but I don’t think it’s too late for me to share why I think it fails royally. And I’m not even going to broach the lackluster creative or hyperbolic writing. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I hate this campaign across the board, but I pick my battles wisely.  

That said, this campaign is indicative of a much, much greater problem plaguing the advertising industry: Agency-types carelessly throwing around the buzzword “storytelling” and pretend that what they’re doing for their clients’ brands. But, rather than storytelling, they’re simply “telling stories.” There’s a big difference…

IN THE POST-ADVERTISING AGE,
THE BRANDS THAT TELL THE BEST STORIES WIN.
Story Worldwide
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Jeremy Greenfield
Jeremy Greenfield
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