BREAKING NEWS: Advertising age terrorists are hiding amongst the populace and are launching clandestine attacks on unsuspecting air travelers. Take caution when flying Delta not to look directly at boarding passes, as they may contain interruptive, persuasive advertising messages.

Haven't we been over this already? Like a fat blackjack player on his tenth rum and coke and his last hundy, brand marketers (BMs, let's call them) all think they have a system: Captive audience heading in our direction—let's get 'em! Welcome to Brazil, y'all, your final destination.

News this week is that Delta will start printing ads on boarding passes, directing its customers to "relevant" advertisers that can be patronized at their final destinations. First, gag. Second, I'm sure the targeting here will work just as well as it does on the Internet: i.e., not well at all. And, third, if Delta gets me to New Orleans without event, I'm feeling okay about it, it's happily forgotten. But, if they fuck up in some way—as they often do—then I'm pissed. So, advertiser with Delta, you either get me in an "okay" mood or "pissed." Captive, yes, but not happy about it at all.